September 26, 2004

You're not going to believe this:

Now I have mastitus in my left breast. I'm sick as a dog, dizzy, chilled with fever and achy. I started the anti biotics today, so hopefully its just a matter of time till I feel better. Please spare a positive thought for me, I feel like shit. And if you really love me, you could come and just shoot me... ;)

Thank god my baby is so beautiful. He's worth it all. I'm crawling to bed now...

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 10:32 PM

September 23, 2004

Holy Shit

How many days has it been it been since I went into labor? Had the baby? Came home from the hospital? Updated? Our time/space continuum has mutated such that hours/days/weeks seem like ages and instants all at the same time. It's a little better for the Rock Star, cuz he's returned to work a few hours a day, but for me it's rubber band time, stretched and contracted such that I have to use huge amounts of brain power to try to figure out what day it is.

In case your wondering what he's doing while I type this, here's the current state of Baby Z:

It's all going really well. Some nights I get as much as three and a half hours of sleep at a time and that's great. My days have been a little hard to get used to. Sometimes Baby Z (formerly known as the Porn Star) wants to feed 20 min out of every hour, sometimes I get as much as two hours to try to get something done. The something's I'm trying to get done amount to maintaining the laundry and dishes so that the condition of the house doesn't get way out of hand. I didn't have particularly strong nesting urges before the baby came, but by fucking god I've got them now. I sit and breastfeed and look around and if anything is out of place it drives me nuts. the Rock Star has been incredibly helpful and thoughtful and does whatever I ask, but even I get sick of hearing my voice asking for this, that or the other thing. I can't even imagine how it is for him.

The remodeling work upstairs has started again, and it doesn't interfere with our breastfeeding/napping/frantic cleaning schedule at all. We hope to have much of it done by the time the Rock Star's brother visits in a couple of weeks. It will be huge relief to move upstairs into our new bedrooms and family room. Right now the living room is doing double duty. It's filled with the baby's changing table, bouncy seat, tubs of clothes, and various other baby accoutrement.

He's 13 days old today and had his second pediatric visit. He gained nearly a whole pound from last Thursday!!! I'm taking this as validation that I'm doing a good job breastfeeding. I'll need that encouragement when I have to sit down and bare one of the boobs for what seems like the 400th time. Next visit is when he's 2 months old and then we get to experience the joy of the first vaccination.

I've been trying to get him used to being in the sling so that I can move around the house and accomplish some tasks while holding him. It hasn't been entirely successful, but there have been a couple of sessions where he sleeps in the sling for a few hours and I can move around, or sit at my desk. Unbelievably, I've had some work situations arise that I had to attend to. Sometimes being your own boss and running your own business is truly wonderful, other times (like working when your baby is less than two weeks old) suck. It's all about maintaining a money making business, though, which affords me the joy of being able to stay home with him. I don't think I could bear having to leave him for extended periods every day.

The thought I had about the sling and many other things is that the baby books, and so-called experts make it sound so much easier than it really is. Breast feed on demand seemed perfectly reasonable to me while I was reading it before, but it is a huge adjustment to my lifestyle. Popping him in the sling and going about my daily business sounded easy as pie before, but didn't mention anything about floppy headed newborns that don't always want to be smushed into a volumnous swatch of fabric. Lots of other examples but my point is that I am coming to terms with the massive changes in my life. It's a lot. And done on very little sleep with the phone ringing constantly in the background. I feel deeply in my bones that this is what I want to be doing and that we'll all adjust in some time (its only been 2 weeks), but there are definately moments when I can use a break. Luckily my wonderful husband is always around to give it to me. I've been able to take a half an hour to myself and soak in the tub most nights and that has been a real blessing.

I'm gonna toss a couple pics in the extended entry before he wakes up and it's time to "assume the position" again.

Sleepy baby:

First time at Lake of the Isles:

I'm a serious baby:

Squinched into the bean shape:

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 08:42 PM

September 18, 2004

Diamond's are a Mom's Best Friend

I was able to put my engagement and wedding ring back on today. The swelling is almost gone in my hands. I missed wearing them! It feels good.

It was a day of many feedings, diaper changes and exclamations of "OMFG, how cute is this?"

Must run, the boy is getting wound up for his umpteenth boob session of the day. Mustn't keep him waiting. :)

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 10:24 PM

September 17, 2004

Day of Firsts

Yesterday was a day of firsts. First walk in the stroller (he liked it. Slept all the way to the doctor's). First pediatrician visit (he's a healthy perfect baby. He's gained back all the weight he lost after birth which means breastfeeding is working. YAY!!). First time he peed on one of us, it was Daddy, I'm pleased to report (at the pediatrician's after being weighed). First time eating out (I forgot to have any breakfast, so had to stop at a sandwich place on the way home. He slept well in his stroller and when he started look slightly fussy, we packed up the sandwiches and made a run for it. I didn't want to try to breastfeed him there, cuz I've only ever done it in our chair at home). It was a big day alright.

Our boy is 1 week old today. Holy shit, who knew I could love anyone this much?!!

A few more pics in the extended entry. Click to embiggen.

Ready to go for a walk to the pediatrician:

Peed on Daddy:

Resting up after the big day:

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 08:27 PM

September 15, 2004

More Pics!!!!

Just a few notes to let you all know how it's going here at P-Land. I can't believe what a good, easy baby he is. Breastfeeding is going pretty well. My milk is in and not too much soreness. He's eating steadily. We have the first pediatrician appointment tomorrow. I'm slowly catching up on my sleep. The last couple of nights I've gotten to sleep at least 2 hours at a time!! WooHoo!! I'm healing well, although amazingly there's not as much to heal as one would expect for pushing out a 14 inch headed baby. I'll put the details in my birth story when I write it up soon. I wanted to get some more pics up.

The fact is we just stare at him and love him and hold him and stare at him. He's so perfect! I can't believe this little person is with us! We've been living in a quiet little bubble, because we had asked relatives and friends to give us some nesting in time. They've respected our wishes and it's just been so lovely!! the Rock Star, Porn Star and me just being together. I love my husband and my son so much!!! I wish we could live in this bubble forever!!

OK, here's a few more pics of our angel (in the extended entry)!! All can be made bigger by clicking.

Daddy and baby sleeping at the hospital:

Hoody at the hospital:

Making a funny face!!

Sitting in the fancy bouncer chair.

Mommy loves him SOOOOOOOOO much!!!!


Representin' in the hat that California Uncle sent!

That's my boy!! I'm so proud! (I solemnly swear I didn't pose him. He did it on his own.)

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 09:10 PM

September 14, 2004


Here's a couple of pics we've managed to put together. Click to embiggen.

Our baby burrito!

Being Home is just 'ducky'

Hope you like. More to follow!

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 10:29 PM

September 13, 2004

Big Love

We're home and happy as can be!!! I'm typing this one-handed, cuz I can't stand to put him down for even a moment. We are completely, uncontrollably in love with our boy. I wanted to at least post something to let you all know how much we've enjoyed your comments, emails and good wishes!!! Baby and I are on our way to bed right now, and the husband will follow as soon as he gets at least one pic internet ready. His puter picked now to melt down, so we haven't even been able to send a pic to our out of town relatives!! Tomorrow we should be able to get at least one posted. Be patient!! It'll be worth the wait. He is utterly perfect and so scrumptious you'll want to nibble on him!!I know I do!!! :D

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 10:17 PM

September 11, 2004

A Star is Born

The Procrastinatrix and The Rock Star called from the hospital,
and left word with No Name Yet at some point last night! I'll just post an updated version of what NNY had to say...

… the Porn Star is here! He arrived yesterday, September 10th, 2004, at 1:13am. He was 8 lbs 14 oz and she says that he’s just perfect! P says she’s exhausted (as anyone would be after a 27 hour labour), but fine. They’ll be home on Sunday and she’ll post some news and a birth story soon.

Thanks NNY for keeping us up to speed!

Congratulations to the happy, new parents!

Posted by Suzy Q at 07:53 AM

September 09, 2004


Hi folks! This is Suzy...I received a telephone call from P's sister this afternoon, about 3:40 PM! The Procrastinatrix and The Rock Star are at the hospital. They've been there since about 2:30 AM [thursday morning]. Progress is very slow...she is dialated to about a 2 so far. At this point, she's very tired, but hanging in there! Her sister sounded really excited and I know she can't wait to meet the little guy too!

I will be back to update as soon as I receive more info! Hopefully she'll be a new mommy by the next call! WEEEEE! I'm so excited for her!

Just a quick update: 7:35 AM Friday
I haven't heard anything all night. Hopefully she's had that baby by now! I'm sure that P will be calling as soon as she can. Just as soon as she does, I'll be back with an update! I'm not neglecting you guys...just waiting on some info.

*Looks at the phone* RING Dammit!!! =]

Update: 6:50 PM Friday:

No news yet! You don't think she would be you? Nahhh! lol

Posted by Suzy Q at 03:54 PM

September 08, 2004

Still Waiting

I barely have the heart to tell you all that I'm still pregnant. At my pre-natal yesterday, I was checked and my cervix is not dilated at all. In fact there wasn't even enough of an opening to strip the membranes, although the midwife tried. As of yesterday I'm officially 7 days overdue. Tomorrow I'm scheduled for an ultrasound and fetal non-stress test and if he hasn't come by next Tuesday (2 weeks overdue), they want to induce. I'm anxious to have this baby, but I don't want to induce! I'll do whatever is medically appropriate, following the advice of the midwives, but I really hate the idea.

We shopped at Ikea last night and bought a frame for the bed. Ikea was interesting, and I could certainly appreciate their crowd management techniques, but it really is just another retail outlet. I'm still at a loss as to why some people think its all that, but then again, I'm a grossly pregnant shopping curmudgeon, so I wasn't inclined to joy at the prospect of wandering all over what seemed like a 12 square mile box filled with items we don't need and people I wanted to punch. Don't worry folks, no innocent bystanders were harmed in the making of this shopping trip. :)

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 01:54 PM

September 07, 2004

Stick a Fork In Me...

...I'm done. I think I've reached the max level of discomfort. Last night I had the hardest time finding a position I could sleep in. My hips, shoulders, back, pubic bones, and tail bone all hurt no matter what position I try to lay in. I've got pillows to support every part of my body and a Sleep Number bed, and still it's all uncomfortable. About the time I find a comfortable position, I have to pee or something itches or I'm too hot and on and on and on. Rolling over is a major production with sound effects that frighten our pets, and from there it's another half hour of adjusting pillows and covers and positions to get comfortable again. It's enough to drive me crazy. Oh who the hell am I kidding. I'm crazy already.

So here it's Tuesday and still no baby. I have a weekly pre-natal appointment scheduled today. Boy will they be surprised to see me. Last week everyone was all "Goodbye, good luck, blah-blah-blah." Thursday is 10 days past my due date and they've scheduled me for an ultra-sound and fetal stress test to make sure everything is ok. Last week I joked that if I made it til then, I hope someone would have the compassion to shoot me...Now I'm looking for volunteers for the job. Anyone? Anyone?

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 12:17 PM

September 06, 2004

I Feel Awful

It's 12:35 on Monday. No signs of labor starting.

I'm sick, sick to death of the phone ringing. His mom, my dad, a couple of local friends...we've told them we'll call when labor starts, but they're so excited they keep calling. Part of the problem is that I'm one of those people who doesn't really like the phone. I don't feel like being graceful about it anymore. I mean seriously. I've told them, if you're wondering what's going on and you haven't heard from us, that means NOTHING is going on. the Rock Star has taken to calling his mom every 3-4 hours just to keep her off my back. My dad called this morning and I yelled at him. I feel just awful about it, I yelled at my dad. I tried to apologize and lighten things up, but it didn't work, and when I hung up I just sat on the couch and blubbered. My belly is so big and big tears were falling down my cheeks and bouncing off my belly and I just felt so awful for yelling at my dad. He's so far away, and he's excited about the baby and he just wants to keep in touch with what's going on and I yelled at him. I should have prepared myself for this. I should have known that even though we asked people not to keep calling during this time, that they would anyway. I should have the grace to just say no, nothing is happening and chat a bit and then go on my way...but I don't.

My feelings are all very mixed at this point. I mean, I want to go into labor, but I'm scared of it. I want to have the baby, but I am trying to enjoy the last unencumbered days of my life. I'm bored out of my gourd, but I don't want to do anything. I'm rested, I'm tired. I'm excited but I'm calm. I'm uncomfortable and cranky, or uncomfortable and good-natured by turns. I'm sick of everyone else's attention, but I appreciate it. I'm hungry, but don't know what I want, and I don't feel like going out to get anything, or asking anyone to bring me anything. See what I mean. I don't enjoy having a big emotional meltdown so my husband has to stop working on the house to comfort me. I don't like calling my dad back to apologize, and having him say, "No, it's ok...I don't mind." when I know it's not, and he does.

Maybe I should just go back to bed and start this day over in another 2 hours? Gah!!!!!

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 12:54 PM

September 05, 2004

One Time at Band Camp...

Well, another night's sleep uninterrupted by any pesky labor & delivery. Last night we found a Fish n Chips place that was reminiscent of all the delicious fish n chips we had in Scotland on our honeymoon. mmmmmm, deep fried battered fish and big fat fries smothered in malt vinegar and salt. Who says you can't buy happiness?

Then we sat down to watch Mooseport and American Wedding. Mooseport was ok, but not nearly as funny as I'd hoped, and American Wedding was a little better, but not nearly as funny as the first American Pie.

Today my big goal is to do a few loads of laundry and change the sheets. WooHoo!!!

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 11:40 AM

September 04, 2004

Car Seat Installed - Check

We just installed the car seat. Pretty easy really. The instruction booklet is about an inch thick, but most of it is the usual warnings about how many ways functioning in the world will kill, maim, or mentally damage your baby. Yeah, ok, whatever.

Nice chats with Suzy and No Name Yet yesterday. Thanks for calling!!! :) It was nice to hear your voices.

I was hoping to report another natural means of inducing labor: Laughter. We went to Dodgeball last night. OMFG I laughed so hard, and so often I was weak. The hard laughing was actually causing contractions and I would dread the next laugh, then something else funny would happen and I'd start all over again. Painfully funny is my assessment of this movie. I thought for a minute there we might be headed for the hospital after, but nope, it was just gyros for dinner and a good night's sleep.

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 02:21 PM

September 03, 2004

Twiddling my Thumbs

Hey Everybody!!! Guess what?!?!!! Still no baby.

Last night I had somewhat painful contractions with no discernable pattern, anywhere from 3 to 52 minutes apart. The thing about these contractions that made them different from any other day is that they were painful. Not horrible pain, I could still walk and talk, but all other contractions have been completely pain free. I took a shower and ate some dinner (which my wonderful husband fetched for me), we watched bad tv, wrote down the contractions as they happened and went to bed around 1:00 am. I slept fine.

Today I've had some Frosted Mini-wheats, washed a batch of dishes. In terms of natural inducements, I'm going for a little walk later and the Rock Star has been helping me with that other one (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more). No serious contractions to speak of so far, but the baby has been kicking like a mule all morning. Stupid people keep calling to inquire about service from my company, but don't bother to leave one bit of the information clearly requested in my voice mail greeting. Y'all know how I love the stupid people, right? And right now even more. All I can say is they're lucky that I'm a peace lovin' gal. AND that I don't have access to firearms. heh!

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 02:12 PM

September 02, 2004

No News is Bad News

Well, not bad news actually, but kinda boring. I mean now that most everything is settled down and I don't have much to do, or I can't do much, I'm getting kinda bored just waiting around. I've slept so fucking much, I woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep...sheesh!!!

Absolutely no sign of labor starting as of 8:00 this morning. My friend Nanc's birthday is today, maybe this'll be the day?

I got most of the invoices done. I'll try to work on them some more today.

Bored, bored, bored...

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 08:11 AM

September 01, 2004


Thanks to all for the well wishes on our anniversary. We had a very nice dinner and that glass of wine relaxed me so completely that I didn't have any of the cramping the midwife warned me about after my exam. I slept like a rock.

Two years ago yesterday I married the Rock Star. Our wedding was the most wonderful day of my life. It wasn't just the joy of the 175 people celebrating with us. It wasn't just the beauty of a perfect August day. It wasn't just that the decorations, food, music, flowers, etc. all turned out exactly as we'd planned. It wasn't just his perfectly fitted tuxedo or my beautiful long white dress with a fairy tale princess train and veil. It wasn't just the spoken words that we'd chosen for the ceremony or the tears of happiness my sister and his brother were crying throughout. Not just those things, but they all added up to make the moment in which I put my hands in his hands and looked into his eyes and knew, just knew as completely and totally as my heart and mind could comprehend that this man, this handsome, funny, intelligent, generous, kind, perfect man had given me his heart and accepted mine. I knew (long before the wedding) that this man was made for me and I for him. Every single day is another page in the epic story of our life. I don't know how all the chapters are going to play out, can't predict the adventures we have before us. It doesn't matter. What I know, without doubt, is that our story is the happily ever after kind. I'm here to tell you truely: Dreams do come true.

Posted by The Procrastinatrix at 11:47 AM