"Freedom is not free." is the quote I've heard so many times today. I just want to say I agree with that statement, but I also think that the current administration is making it far, far more expensive than it has to be. The cost in lives, American and other, is to high. I was talking about it with the Rock Star today and he pointed out that had we put half as much energy, money and time into helping to raise the standard of living in some of the so called "terrorist" countries that we have in making war on them we would have achieved so very much more in the way of preventing future terrorism. It's my belief that the violent, barbaric course we are on is insuring hate and war for generations to come and my heart breaks for my beloved country.
Today is a day to honor the dead. I say every day should be a day to honor the living. All living people, every day. Honor yourself, honor your neighbors, honor the men, women and children you will never meet.
Peace, my friends.
To my normal routine that is!!! My dad got here last Friday afternoon and it's been a whirlwind since then.
I finished most of the latest invoices just in time to run over to my sister's and spend the evening with Dad, Beloved StepMom (BSL), Sister, BIL, Nephew and husband. I love, love, love visiting with my Dad. They come to visit once per year around this time and I try to clear my schedule completely and spend every possible moment with them. He's in good health so we can reasonably expect several more years with him, but these visits never seem long enough and I always wish we didn't have to cram a whole year into five short days. Every year I resolve that we'll travel there, or I'll call more often, or what have you, and then the whole year goes by and they're here again. Anyhow it was a fun visit.
I get up and get over there as early as possible each day. For me to be anywhere and ready to socialize by 8:30-9:00 am is a minor miracle. I got up by 7:00 am every day to do it. We mostly sit around at my sister's house and tell stories and talk, eat, nap and just hang out together. We took a few visits to second-hand stores and I found some super cute, nice stuff for the baby. Miraculously, at one store, there was a pair of maternity jeans that fit me perfectly for only $2.95. I found a nice blouse for another $2.95, too. It's hard cuz it's been rainy and cold around here and all the maternity clothes I'd bought myself were for warmer weather. I really needed a pair of long pants, but as soon as it warms up, I won't be able to wear them anymore.
The dogs were alone all day, which is hard on them, cuz they're used to me being around for a big chunk of most days. I know they mostly just sleep, but they're so anxious when we come home (especially Little) that it makes me feel guilty for leaving them alone so much. Big had to wear the cone the entire time because her right front leg was still not healed enough to withstand her licking it. She is completely used to it by now, and moves about freely with it on, so it's not as bad as it was. the Rock Star was so wonderful, and would come home after work and let them out and pay them some attention in the afternoon, so I could get every last second of Dad time. Then he'd join us at my sister's for the evening and we'd come home around 10:00 pm. I'd do a bunch of chores to be ready for the next day and then go to bed. Up again at 7:00 am. I really, really, really miss them, but I was grateful to sleep in til 9:15 today!!
I handled the telephones for my business, too, so this was a working vacation. There was one very bad morning, where I had to spend a considerable amount of time on the phone with my most valuable client, apologizing and generally groveling to make up for a mistake I made a week or so ago. I had the dog over night for the weekend and had agreed to stop by their house once per day to pick up the mail and papers and make sure the house was secure and didn't look like they were out of town. Well, stupid me, I forgot to write the house checks down on my calendar and totally forgot about them til Monday morning, the day before they got home. It was also the end of the week where Big was getting used to the cone, and I hadn't slept well for days and days. These people are extra picky about security around there house, so this was a very bad mistake. One of their friends stopped by to drop something off and mentioned to them that they really should have someone come over and pick up the papers... Well, she was pissed to say the least... I'm grateful I didn't get fired over it, but 8 years of nearly perfect service counts for something, right? It put a real damper on my day and I hate that I had to deal with this during my Dad time...
My Dad's sister was in town visiting her daughter, so it was especially nice to visit with her, too. All in all it was a nice time and the Rock Star and I are planning on driving there after the baby comes so my Dad and BSL can meet him.
I haven't been reading any blogs at all this past week, so after I finish a lot of work around here (getting our lives back into routine), I'll be coming around to catch up on all I missed. Hope everyone had a good week!! :)
Holy crap I can't believe it's Thursday!!!
My dad gets here for a visit tomorrow. I can't wait!!! I love, love, love hanging out with my dad!!! I'll most likely not be posting 'til he leaves on Wednesday (5/26). I've taken off of all my walkies and visits so it's like a vacation!!!
I had a pre-natal visit on Tuesday. Everything is going really well. I only gained 1 pound last month and I ate chocolate ice cream twice a day every day!!!! Woot!! I love being pregnant!!!
There's a few pics in the extended entry.
Click on any picture to embiggen.
This one is especially for Michelle:
I love lilacs!!!
Little went to the groomers today. Before and after shots:
She's not dead. She's finally gotten used to the cone. Staples come out tomorrow.
One of my favorite reads, Buzz, made a post today that inspired me to articulate something I've thought about since I started reading blogs.
"Blogligations" is a very good word but the many nice people of blogland shouldn't take it too seriously. Normally I'm not one to tell people how they should think or what they should do, not my style. But in this case I thought I'd speak up a bit. There seem to be any number of folks ready and willing to tell the rest of us what blogging is and should be and how it should and should not be done. That's all well and good, but what if I say, "Fuck that." I just wanna blog, dude! It's fun, and as long as it stays fun, I'll be doing it. If I ever get tired of it, I'll quit. Quitting is not in my foreseeable future, btw. I'm still having fun doing it.
When I started to blog I just thought it would be an interesting way to journal. For awhile I totally lived for every notch up on my hit counter, every comment, every time someone else out there linked to me. It was way cool. I still think all that stuff is super fun, but not what I live for. I try to post everyday, but if I don't have anything to post but the makeup of my navel lint, well, I don't post. and I don't apologize or feel bad about it either. The folks who keep coming back to check on me seem to be interested, and if someone loses interest, that's ok. I wish 'em well. Don't anyone get the idea that I wouldn't miss any of my regular readers or reads, I totally would. I'm just saying I don't buy into this obligation stuff. I love, love, love the connections I've made to some really swell folks through this blog and theirs. But when those connections are no longer tenable for both parties, it's time to wish each other wll and let go.
I post about stuff I want to remember some day and I try to write it in a way that's interesting or funny to people. Or I post about something that cracked me up. Or pissed me off. Those ones are purely for therapy. I feel better after I vent on my blog. Even if NO ONE read me ever, I'd still have a journal to look back on.
Starting a blog doesn't imply any contract or agreement to the public. Enjoy it. Enjoy others. If you don't feel like it, don't do it. Above all don't feel bad about it and don't pressure yourself!!!
That's my take, dear friends. Hope you all have a really fucking great day!!! Hugs and shit. :)
It's raining and cold today. 41 degrees. The weather pretty much matches my mood. I'm in calm crisis control mode worrying about Beena (see updates in the extended entry of this post). It's odd how when I'm like this I actually get more done. Yesterday I got a really good start on the invoices and I'll likely get even more done today. Of course, now that I've said that out loud (in a manner of speaking, errrr, writing) I probly won't get a damn thing done.
Beena licked the staples out of her left front leg yesterday morning. I tried really hard to keep an eye on her, but she's a stealth licker and by evening yesterday it was clear that the wound was not staying closed completely. We put a make-shift bandage on it last night and this morning I took her back to the vet. They re-stapled it and told me she HAS to stay in the cone til this heals.
It is pure hell. I put her in the cone 2 hours ago and she hasn't stopped crying since. She sits sometimes, but mostly stands and pants and drools. She is absolutely miserable and so am I. I promised my husband and the vet I'd make her stay in it all day today, even though I'm right here, cuz there is some chance (very small) that she'll get used to it.
My head agrees with and understands my husband when he says that this is harder on me than on her. She's not in any pain. It's not hurting her. She's just scared to move. My heart wants me to do anything and everything to make this pitiful crying stop.
To top it all off, the Vet called with the results of the testing they did on the masses they removed and one of them MAY be carcinomic. They're doing further tests. I can't even worry about that yet, even though I'm inclined not to. The one they think looks carcinomic was no different a bump then all the others and I think they're just being cautious. I'll know in a couple of days.
Here are some pictures of her with the cone. Try to imagine the soundtrack of pitiful whining and crying in the background.
Update: 5/12 5:15 pm I put in earplugs about an hour ago cuz I couldn't stand to hear her cry anymore. As of a minute ago, she has finally lain down and stopped crying. That was 4 hours of hell. This is only a break, though. As soon as Little barks at the door, or the Rock Star comes home, or a rabbit eats a dandelion in the yard across the street, she'll jump up and start all over again. *sigh*
Update: 5/13 9:00 am. She seemed to have finally been worn out enough to sit and lay down in the cone on her own, and she even went outside with it and peed with it on, so I went out with the Rock Star for the usual Wednesday night get together. Before I left I took it off for a minute and the first thing she did was drink a whole big bowl of water. Then she went outside and pooped. When we got home, I peeked in the window and she was laying down with it on. I took it off her for the night and lightly bandaged the leg, to hopefully keep her away from it while we slept. She drank another whole bowl of water and sank down, exhausted to sleep. We all slept well, but this morning at 7:00 am I woke to find that she had wet her bed worse than she ever had. She's incontinant sometimes, especially when she's had lots of water to drink. She doesn't even know she's leaking. Anyhow, she was so soundly asleep I had to rouse her up to take her outside so I could get her bed stripped. She only ate about half her breakfast, and her leg seems very tender and is swollen again. The vet said to try to put warm packs on it, but she wouldn't let me. I'm supposed to be watching for signs of lethargy and loss of appetite because of having swallowed all the staples, but its really hard to tell with Beena. She's always a very mellow dog, and takes a long time to wake up in the mornings. If anything, and I mean any little thing, disturbs her while she's eating, she'll stop. So I don't know if she's lethargic or just completely exhausted from standing and crying for 4 hours yesterday. I don't know if she's lost her appetite from a staple inside her belly, or if her hurting leg makes her too uncomfortable to stand and eat the whole bowl of food. I'm assuming that since she perks up if I mention breakfast, or treats that she's not lethargic, just tired and I'm assuming that since she was interested in half her breakfast, but not the rest, that her appetite is ok, just sore leg was bothering her. But I don't know. I only have to leave the house for an hour or so mid morning, so I'll be able to keep an eye on her all day today again.
Short recap of the weekend in the extended entry.
Saturday night was Andy's Glamour Party and I was worried to leave the Beena alone, but went anyhow. I'm glad I did. It was nice to relax and a glass of wine did me a world of good.
We had a very nice Mother's Day. My mom and the Rock Star's came over to my sisters for brunch and I made tasty blended fruit smoothies for everyone for dessert. Usually with my mom it's only a matter of time til she says something to piss us off, or we say something to piss her off...but this time the whole day came off without a hitch. It was actually quite nice. My MIL gave me a gift certificate for a Pregnancy Massage at the salon where she works. WOOT!!! That is just what I needed!!!!
Nothing can ever go just right, though, and when I got home I was greeted with angry messages from a client and he was very mean to me when I brought his dog home. He had misunderstood what time I'd be bringing her home and 5 pm was way too late for him. Never fucking mind that it's a holiday and I don't ever charge for pickup and dropoff. No, I really should have stopped celebrating the holiday with my family and made a special trip to his house. He made me cry on Mother's Day. Fucker.
So many things going on and so little time to post...
This past Friday Beena had surgery. I've been worried sick about it for a long time. A few years back she went in for a routine teeth cleaning (they put them under anesthesia for that) and had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and went into shock and nearly died. I've been scared to try again til recently when it became clear that her teeth were bothering her enough to interfere with eating (one of her favorite pastimes). So I finally broke down and made an appointment for this past Friday... She also has a number of sebacious cysts (fatty bumps) on her body. A couple of them had erupted and were basically open sores that could never heal without surgery (the gland under the skin keeps producing material). I wasn't going to put her under anesthesia for those alone, but since she was going down for her teeth cleaning, I figured I'd have the surgeons step in and fix those cysts. She had 2 open ones, 1 that was about to open and 5 more I thought might get bad in the near future, 8 in all.
OMG it was a long hard day. She was under from 8:00 am til 1:30 pm and I waited in lobby the entire time. She finally came out and even though they'd warned me she would look worse than I expected, I was NOT prepared for it. She has 8 incisions, 6 inches long, with metal staples. They're on both her shoulders, both her hips, inside of 1 front let, inside of both rear legs and on the front of her neck. She came through the anesthesia alright, but we're calling her Franken Beena cuz she looks like she got hit by a car and sewn back together.
In that pic you can see the hip and shoulder wounds on one side (she has them on the other side, too), plus part of the one on her front leg.
The poor baby was so messed up from the drugs and couldn't find a comfortable way to sit or lay down for hours after the surgery. We got very little sleep that night. She's ok now, except it's hard to keep her from licking the staples. I have an Elizabethan collar for her, but she is terrified of it, so it's a choice between watching her every second, or leaving her alone with the collar to be miserable and scared. She'd been doing very well leaving the cuts alone, so I felt ok leaving her a few hours at a time. Then today, I found she'd licked the staples out of her front leg. The cut seems to be holding together so far, so the vet said to keep an eye on it and maybe we won't have to staple it up again. I hope not...
I left her alone in the E-collar today for an hour and when I came back she was standing in the exact place I'd left her with a puddle of drool at her feet... Staples come out in 10 days and I can't wait...
For those of you who've been losing sleep wondering what my new haircut looks like, I've finally found a pic I like, so you can get some rest. Check out the extended entry.
Taken on my 41st birthday (3/30/04). It's blurry cuz my husband was drunk...heh!! Just kidding.
Taken this past Satuday night.
My sister and I were feeling cranky cuz we have to spend Mother's Day servicing our mom and the MILs. Sister says she's never felt she's had a real Mother's Day of her own and her son is 15!! We decided we would spend this MD with our mom and our MILs, but are declaring next Sunday 5/16 as our very own Mother's Day. My husband is a bit relieved, cuz even though he really wants to give me a special MD, he gets an extra week to shop. He asked me what I want and I said I want to go do the baby registry and to buy my Glider/Rocking Chair and he thinks that's a great idea!! I'm very excited about it.
He told me he's been surprised by some of his co-workers responses to the idea that we are doing MD for me this year. Comments along the line of "No, no, it's not officially MD for her til next year. No sense starting now, when you'll be doing MD the rest of your life..." I said to tell those mother fuckers to kiss my preggy ass!!! I've been sacrificing my habits, energy, and body for this baby since last July (when we started trying to conceive) and I deserve a mother fucking Mother's Day. I don't give a rat's fucking ass how they do things at their house, or if they think I'm officially eligible to call myself a mother. Plus, I figure from here on out it'll be finger paintings and home made cards (which I'll cherish, btw) for the next 15 years or so, so I'd like something very nice for my First MD!!! the Rock Star (being the intelligent survivalist he is) agrees completely. ;)
My husband is the dearest man!! I was making a joke about how I wanted a Glider/Rocker (to breastfeed and quiet the baby) for MD and I figured (the baby) and I'd be getting him a beer fridge for Father's Day. Can you believe my dear sweet husband said, oh, no, while he definately thinks that I'm eligible for MD, he's not so sure he is for Father's Day? How cute is that?
I wanted to post a pic of my new haircut, but my husband downloaded from the camera to somewhere on our vast home network and I can't find it. It was taken the day after I got it cut last week and I'm pretty pleased with it. I'll just have to show it to you later. It goes along with the title and subject of this post, though. I'm starting to wonder about the Porn Star's future as a soccer star, cuz he is really starting to kick in there... It's very funny to be sitting here reading and feel the kick, but to actually see my stomach move is bizarre!!! I don't even have to be looking right at it. Even this early (24 weeks, this week) the movement is enough to see out of the corner of my eye. Wowza!! Do you think we should get him a sports agent yet?
Holy crap there is a lot to learn to be a parent. Right now I'm working on trying to figure out all we'll need to get started. There are two baby showers planned and I want to register for things, but there is a lot to learn about what we need and don't need. I have been poring over the Fields' Baby Bargains book and there is so much to remember. You have to think of safety, quality, price, durability, necessity, etc. for each and every item. I figure I'll read over each chapter, and then carry it with us when we register (probly at Babies R Us and Target), and hopefully be able to make intelligent decisions about what we need. If any of you parents out there have tips on items that are "must haves" and why, OR "skip it, it's a waste" items, I'd love to hear them.
Little dog was supposed to be fasting yesterday. She was fasting cuz sometimes she eats stuff she's not supposed to, and I want to get her system cleared out before she starts sharking more food down. Night before last she ate (yes, I said ate, as in chewed and swallowed...) a whole roll of TP. (It was our last one, too, damnit. We had to use kleenex for two days because every flippin' time I went to the grocery store, I forgot to buy more.) We came home from an evening out, and there was about 1 yard unrolled onto the bathroom floor and all the rest was gone. Gone. When this happens (yes, it's happened before) she goes around all fat and blocked up, and blorps up any food or water she eats until all the TP (or paper towels, or what the fuck ever she's eaten) makes it's way out. Interesting to note, I call her the self cleaning dog when this is happening, cuz she's wiping herself as she poops, so to speak. (Whoops, sorry to those of you who don't own pig dogs and aren't used to these kind of coarse comments. Around here it gets much worse than that...) Anyhow, I said s'posed to be fasting, didn't I?
Well, she was having none of it. While we were at my mom's last night (so my dear sweet saint of a husband could clear a virus off her computer), Little enlisted the aid of a taller dog to drag a package of five petit pains (made by my favorite bakery and absolutely delicious toasted and slathered with butter and organic strawberry jam for my breakfasts) off the counter. There was very little left of the evidence when we got home. It is maddening trying to keep this dog (who I love very, very much) from killing herself with food. Not to mention no tasty bun with jam for breakfast. GRRRRRRRRR.
I actually bit my own finger while eating lunch today. No fucking kidding. and it hurts!!! Hurts a lot. I bite hard, apparently.
I make these cheesy tortilla thingies and they're cut in wedges and I eat them with my hands. I bit my left index finger while trying to shove one in my mouth...
Even the dogs are shaking their heads at me. *sigh*
The birds at my feeders are hogbuckets, I tell ya'!!! I have to refill the sunflower seeds every day! It's a good thing they're cheap and I haven't even gone through my first 25 pound bag yet, but wow!!! Who knew they were such little piggies!?!? I love, love, love them, though. It is a constant source of stess relief and simple joy to look out my window and see them. I think the birds on my block are the fattest, happiest little birdies in the city.
That's all I really have to blog right now. It has been a reasonably uneventful few days and I can't believe it's Tuesday already.
I'm a 40 year old woman who passes for 28 on a good day. I live in a house with my husband (the Rock Star), 2 dogs & 2 cats.
There are many more interesting tidbits about me, and when I get around to it I'll put them in here. I am...
the Procrastinatrix.
babymood:
the Porn Star is due days from now on 8/31/2004.
You can: email me, see a picture, Blogroll Me.
